Dating for Fun, A Policy to Abolish in Tertiary Institutions

Busola Abidakun

The issue of being in short-term relationships has been a significant discourse among students of higher institutions in Nigeria.

Some youths in this present generation venture into relationships to accumulate materialistic possessions from their partners. Most males are interested in females for sex while females are after the males for money and other items like phones, cars, clothes among others.

Consequently, most of the relationships are not established on true love while some people venture into it with the mindset of breaking up soon, thereby causing them not to put enough energy into making the relationship work.

The students of Adekunle Ajasin University Akungba, Akoko, has however given diverse notions on whether it is right to date for fun and enjoy life. Some also shared their ideas on the concept, on how to build a long-lasting relationship among others while in any relationship. 

A 400-level student from the department of philosophy, Adeboye oladokun opined that building a great understanding and connection to the extent that your partner becomes your best friend and knows much about you sustains a relationship.

"Most people think having a relationship is all about self-esteem. This is common most especially with males, they love to enlarge their ego and boast about how many girlfriends they have. Also, I think Parents to nurture their children about what relationship is all about and make sure they are rightly taught."

Adeboye however advised youths in this generation not to rush to be in a relationship and they must painstakingly take their time in order not to end up in a toxic relationship. "Relationships should be built on love, trust, selflessness, and commitment. Youths should not go into relationships for selfish interests."

Olowolayemo Abisola, a student of 300- level Mass communication department, emphasized that contentment is one of the attributes that should be displayed between two partners to enhance a long-lasting relationship. 

"If you know that someone does not measure up to your standard, let him or her go rather than keeping too many partners. Youths that are tired of their relationships should not hesitate to walk out, the relationship should not be by force"

Oluwadola Emmanuel, a 200 level student of the school also expressed that people venture into relationships for fun, to satisfy their uncontrollable emotions or feelings. 

He advised youths to be patient by waiting for the appropriate time and abstain from any relationship that is not heading to marriage. 

"Any relationship that is not heading towards marriage can end up in regret and shame. We have seen a lot of boyfriends and girlfriends killing themselves and destroying their future. 

"Imagine a student who is involved in premarital sex, cohabitation, he or she will be faced with problems, especially for ladies, problems like unwanted pregnancy, depression as a result of several breakups, and both genders will not be able to focus well on their academics in school.

"Youths should see this as a distraction on their way to success, they should abstain from any relationship that is not leading to marriage and discipline themselves"

Kayode Timileyhin, a 200-level student of the computer science department also advised youths not to enter into a  relationship with the mindset of acquiring frivolities like fashions, money among others.

Odebiyi Catherine, a 100 level student of English Studies said, Ultimately, it's best not to commit to a relationship with someone you don't feel attracted to or someone you don't love. "Unhealthy relationships could lead to academic difficulties, stress, and involvement in delinquent behavior particularly about the early sexual and romantic experiences.

"You should be able to tell if your partner takes your relationship seriously, a person who truly loves you shows up undeniably not just when it's convenient or when there's something to gain but should be able to handle confrontation in a healthy way.

"People should not rush into relationships. They should learn how to make choices and decisions, and they should be able to identify what they want and go for it and put enough energy into their relationship", she educated.

Lovers should always create time and attention for each other. They should also understand that, for a relationship to work out well, communication is important.

Being in a relationship should be a period to know each other well. The foundation should be based on love and not infatuations. If you don't love someone, don’t force it because the relationship will turn bad eventually. Relationships should be treated with a high level of maturity because it is not child's play.